A Pawn in the Games
by BotheredOne7
Summary: It was done. It had been planned that way for as long as I could remember and now that I stood at the end of it, it all seemed meaningless. I had done it without truly understanding what I had gotten myself into and now I was paying for it. I had been a pawn in a sick twisted game, one that I refused to continue playing. REDONE.


It was done. It had been planned that way for as long as I could remember and now that I stood at the end of it, it all seemed meaningless. I had done it without truly understanding what I had gotten myself into and now I was paying for it. I had been a pawn in a sick twisted game, one that I refused to continue playing. I couldn't stand it any longer and everyone probably knew it. The cameras that had been constantly trained on all of us were glued to two spots and I didn't want to turn to face the world. Everything I knew had been torn from me so violently in a flurry of motion that I couldn't stop. I didn't want to face the world because of my actions, I couldn't face the world. I refused too.

Everything in me was pushing me to do it, to end the life in front of me, but that would only give all of them satisfaction. It was something they didn't deserve. I had watched as all of them had fallen, seen their names written in the night sky, known each of their killers and felt justified as I had ended their lives. But it came to the three of us and only now did I stay my hand. I could hear the voices of my loved ones ringing through my head, begging me to end it and come home. But I had no home, no place that I could rightfully call my own. But they did. They had everything that I didn't.

They had everything that had been ripped from me brutally by this monstrosity that some of the world called entertainment. How could people do this? Take the lives of others and warp them into killers and victims all because of one event that hadn't been repeated in years. It was unfair, but I've been told that life isn't fair. It's something I've always known, growing up as an unlucky soul that no one wanted. I was a mistake left to rot and die out before anyone could find out about the unfortunate circumstances of my birth. It was what had gotten me to this point so far, the knowledge that I was better than what people had tried to force me to believe.

My ideas had not been twisted by the sinister views of others. I was always opinionated, much to the behest of everyone who dared to argue with me. I often wonder why it hadn't gotten me killed earlier on, but I supposed that was all another plot to drag me down to the level of those more favored. It was my own judgment that kept me from driving the point of my knife into the poor boy's heart. I moved slowly, trembling as I moved towards the teen that was clearly panicking. Inside, I was at war with myself. Every fiber of my being screamed to survive, to end him like he would have me, but there was the smallest voice whispering that I was stronger than that. I didn't have to survive to make my mark.

I tore myself away from the scene and darted away from the place. Twigs and branches hung low, catching in my hair and cutting into my face. I didn't care. I needed somewhere to breathe and think, but it was impossible to find in this man made hell. I had bent every moral I had ever made for myself and suddenly I felt like each of those were strangling me. I broke free of the trees, splashing straight into the river that I'd been saved from mere days earlier. I stood in the river, letting my mind run over the events of the past month. Everything seemed ridiculous, now that I had a moment to think back on it.

Half of what had happened was stupid and improbable; things that I knew would end, even as I had denied the inevitability of the situation. But I had gone along with it, we all had. It wasn't like we were given a choice on the matter, it was chosen for us. We had been thrust into it like pigs to a slaughter, half of us not even surviving the first few minutes. I knew what they wanted me to do now, continue on with what I had been doing. Survive. Fight. Win. But what for?

There was nothing waiting for me at the end of this rope except a life full of more lies and deceit. I didn't know how I could face the people who had taken me in and raised me after everything I had done. I was a disgrace to everything I had been taught and I could never go back. If I lived I would be a pawn in an even bigger set of games and I couldn't even live with myself if I did that. I couldn't live with myself either way.

I didn't deserve to make it out of this. There may have been a time where I did, but no more. Those two though, they had every chance of making it out there, of that I had no doubt. Maybe they could be the saviors the world needed, that I needed. But they couldn't be with me in the way; I was what was stopping them. That thought fuelled whatever emotion I had left. Anger flooded my senses and I felt completely helpless. I couldn't function anymore and I felt the hot tears begin to fall down my face. I looked down at myself.

I was filthy. My clothes were covered in dirt and I couldn't even make out the colors anymore. Blood caked my hands, both my own and those of the people who had died. Most of it was _his_. I couldn't deal with it, I didn't want to deal with it, and I wouldn't. I had the overwhelming urge to kill someone and that fact frightened me. It was what they had turned me into: a killer. But if I was a killer, I would decide who to kill.

It wouldn't be the other two, not when they had what I didn't. I smiled grimly and looked up to the cameras. My knife, still held in my hand, rose in the air. They had taken every choice away from me along with countless other things. The silver glinted in the dim light and I tried to calm my breathing. I didn't have to survive, sure most people wouldn't remember me, but it didn't matter. A spare few would, those whose lives I had touched, but even that didn't matter. I looked at the dagger that had ended its fair share of lives, not only by my hand, and let the final tears fall. I was more than a pawn in their games and I was going to prove it.

"I am more." I whispered, steadying my resolve. "I am more than a piece you can push around. I am more than my mother made me out to be." The dagger raised slightly in the air. "I am more than a pawn in your games." I looked directly into the cameras, facing the whole world for what would be the last time. "We all are and we're stronger than you can imagine. It's our choice, and this time, it's my move."

With that final statement, I let the dagger descend and let darkness take over.


End file.
